In this version of the script, everything is almost spelled out for the audience, there is little room for their imagination to try and work out what happened. There also isn't much backstory into it which also makes the script a little bland. Some of the dialogue also feels a little bit off, and almost unnatural. The ending was also a bit anti climatic so that was another thing to improve.
Updated script
This updated version of the script does change a lot of what was originally planned. A lot of the dialogue is more allowing for the audience to make their own conclusions and work out what it means for themselves. The ending is also changed, to almost make you question the main character, and their mental state, as well as including some backstory for the characters. However, again some of the dialogue still feels unnatural and while there is an improvement with allowing the audience to make the decisions for themselves, it was still mildly restricting in almost spelling telling the audience what has happened.
Final script
This final version is, in my opinion the best script. The ending is much improved and the dialogue now complete allows the audience to come to their own conclusions on what my project is trying to suggest to them. This scrip is however very different to my originally idea, so it almost renders my storyboard useless, as I did it for my original idea.
Shot list
Reflection costume
Jacob costume
This is one of the few shots that has my reflection in the shot, but it wasn't to have a different reflection in it. However, I still had to make sure that the camera was not in the mirror shot, or it would stand out and most likely draw attention to it, and not what I'm wanting the focus to be on.
Edits
This is my first edit for my project. It is a very rough copy, with me only really adding the clips into the timeline in the order I want, and doing very little work editing the visuals and the audio, however I can already see the potential with my project, which is promising. I am yet to add a score or any Foley but I believe that once I do, it could be a good short film. The biggest challenge however will probably be finding a score that will work well with the scenes I have created.
Mid-project reviews
Shortly after completing the second version of 'Fracture', I made a short questionnaire asking people questions about what they enjoyed about the short film, including questions like if the split personalities worked well, what technique they liked, what they thought didn't work too well and what could be improved. When editing for my final version of 'Fracture', I will look back at the responses, and see what people thought, and see if I am able to enhance what people liked and improve what people didn't like. Like my previous questionnaire, I posted it on my social media, because the people on my social media are my ideal target audience, and I didn't ask people on my course, because they might have already known what I was planning to do and give an unfair review.
So far, some of the responses for my questionnaire
Title screen font and colour
In the title screen for my short film that appears at the end of the film, I split the title name, 'Fracture' into two different fonts almost as if the title name is to represent the main character and their split personality. I also made half the word in white text, and the other half in red on a black background. The reason behind doing this, was to have, like the font, almost have the two personalities in the text, Jacob being the white text almost showing his purity and innocence, and the red text showing the reflections danger and evilness.
Updated title screen
Like the previous title screen, I split the title into two different fonts. Helvetica and Futura, with Helvetica taking "Frac" with Futura taking "Ture". I did this to show the divide between Jacob and The Reflection. I picked these two fonts because they are still slightly similar, so it doesn't seem out of place, but it is different enough to show a slight difference. I also added white lines, going all over the title screen, because the title by itself on a black screen was a little bland and dull, so the white lines going all over the screen makes the title screen more intriguing. I also made sure that there was one line going from the top left corner to the bottom right corner, going down the middle of the title at one point to further show the split and divide between Jacob and The Reflection.
Updated questionnaire and responses.
Editing techniques
To create the illusion that there are two versions of me in the same shot, like the lefty image above, I layered the images on top of each other and then I used the pen tool, and made a circle around me on the clip that is on top. This deleted the rest of the clip, leaving only me remaining, which allowed it to look like I was in the same shot twice. Once I had done this, I had to edit the clips together, because the light levels were different, so I had to edit the clips together until you couldn't see the outline of the cut I had done to have me appear.
L cuts and J cuts. These keep the plot interesting and prevents the camera shots from becoming dull. The L cut allows you to see the next shot while still hearing the previous shot, showing you the reaction of the character. The J cuts allow you to hear the audio before it cuts to the next shot. I used the L cuts more to show how the characters would react to what is happening in front of them.
In my quiz review for my previous version, one comment mentioned that I should try adding a tint to my clips. In the end, I decided to explore this a little bit, by increasing the saturation of all clips, which made a lot of the colours more defined. When the camera was on The Reflection, I also increased the black tints and also decreased the temperature to make The Reflection seem colder, and slightly evil.
Fracture final version
This is my final version of my project "Fracture". This version has the score in it, as well as some clips edited lightly, in response to the questionnaire I did in response to my previous version.
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